Mirrors
by msjgatsby
Summary: People always see the worst of themselves reflected in others.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I swear I sat down to work on White Flag. This story came out instead.

I wrote this because I still have a problem with the writers having Briggs attempt to kill Mike one week, and then have Paige do the exact same thing the next week.

I wrote it because I think Zelanski was robbed of the epic death I heard Jeff Eastin wanted to give him. (Honestly, if Sid had set a trap for Mike and Zelanski had gone instead and died, it would have given Zelanski more purpose and would have shown us immediately why we should all hate Sid).

I wrote it because I am in love with Paige Arkin and everyone always turns against her so quickly when she's (justifiably) angry with Mike instead of being his doting girlfriend is bs.

I wrote it because Lakergirl4life, paperwings075, wannabesewcrafty and others are killing it with their fanfictions and I'm jealous because I'm lazy and uninspired.

Mostly I wrote it because soon Season 3 will air and I will have to accept the writer's canon, but until them I am free to live in my little Pike world.

* * *

The small apartment is windowless and grim, yet Paige is glad she's not at Graceland right now.

At least the silence here isn't laced with hostility over what she did. The entire house now knows about her selling out Sid to Mike. Briggs had told everyone as soon as he got back. Mike Warren was dead and it was all her fault. It was like everyone was screaming at her at once, followed by a bitter silent treatment. Paige doesn't know which was worse.

But now she's finally alone in the cheap small apartment that rents week to week, accepts cash, and doesn't ask questions. It was the best option she could find on such short notice. The place is a dive, but it will do for now.

"Hey you're back."

"Yeah, you were sleeping. I just went out to get you some basic supplies." Paige held grabbed the toilet paper and beer out of the bag to hold up to display.

In a small bed that takes up half the room is the now infamous Mike Warren. The worst thing that ever happened to Paige. He forces himself to a seated position, trying to smooth his rumpled hair and wipe the evidence of sleep from his eyes. He looks so small and vulnerable, but at least he's alive.

"Beer and toilet paper. What more could I need?" Mike asks with amusement.

"I got some food too. Nothing fancy. Just some stuff that doesn't require a lot of work." Paige says as she unpacks the bag and loads the refrigerator.

"Thanks. I'm not hungry." Mike says, feeling useless.

"You will be. You need to get your strength back." Paige says, as the two exchange in the polite small talk while avoiding all the other issues.

"Yeah, I figure another few days and then I should be able to move without disturbing the stitches too much."

"Don't push it Mike. There's no rush. Everyone's in panic mode right now."

"I know. I should be doing something. Never let a crisis go to waste."

"Give yourself a break. We haven't even planned the funeral yet." Paige says dryly. "Not that I'll be invited."

"They can't indite you for anything. All you did was reported the whereabouts of a fugitive to the police. Sid made it look like an accident. You're safe."

"Well except for the houseful of armed roommates who think I'm worse than Judas, yeah I'm safe."

"How are you holding up?" Mike asks, sounding concerned.

"I'm ok. I just still can't believe anyone bought that I would actually kill you. Honestly am I that much of a bitch?" Paige cracks the cap off the bottle of beer and crosses the floor and sits on the edge of the small bed.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Mike asks with a grim grin as he ducks to avoid her swat, his injured side objecting to the quick movement. "Careful! It's not all fake you know."

"You'll live." Paige rolls her eyes handing him the beer.

"Seriously? I'm on pain killers here." He gives her a look like he thinks she must be joking. She's DEA. She should know better.

"Please, what you're on is essentially kids tylenol. Drink the beer." Paige shoves the beer into his hand and walks back across the small apartment floor to finish loading the limited groceries she got in the fridge and grab a beer for herself.

"Thanks for getting the groceries. You didn't need to." His voice sounds hesitant. Like he's still not sure how to talk to her. Not when it's about something other than work.

"Please. You're quite helpless right now. I'm just surprised the plan worked. How did you know we could trust Zelanski?" Paige asks as she crosses back to sit on the edge of the bed Mike's propped up in. There's no other furniture to sit on in the small sparse apartment she's holed Mike up in. "He had every reason to hate you. You kicked him out of his room, then the house, fired him from the case-"

"...Stole his girl…" Mike adds, his eyes burning intensely in Paige's direction.

"Like I was saying, you're not exactly on his list of favorite people." Paige says in a hurry, trying to ignore his last comment and Mike's stare. Her and Mike hadn't talked about what they used to be. It had never officially ended, but it was pretty clear it was over. She thought that was mutual with all the fighting recently, but when he looks at her like that...

"How could you know he wouldn't rat you out? Especially since it's still on the books that you were the cause of the Solano massacre." Paige asks moving from the edge of the bed to sit cross legged on the floor beside it. It somehow felt safer here.

"Zelanski appreciates loyalty." Mike mutters matter of factly, sipping from the beer in his hand.

"After all you did, why would you think he would be loyal to you?"

"Not loyal to me." Mike shakes his head, "He'd be loyal to you."

Comprehension dawns on Paige, because it hadn't been Mike who had asked Wayne to do what he did. It had been Paige. Before Paige had gone to give up Mike's location to Sid, she had made one very important stop. She had gone and asked Wayne to risk everything on an off the books mission for Mike. He had gotten to the hospital before Sid. He had changed Mike's chart. Gotten him the fake breathing machine. He had hijacked Mike's computer controlled heart monitor and controlled it from another room.

"He could have said no." Paige says quietly. There hadn't been a backup plan. There hadn't been time for one. If one thing had gone wrong, Mike could have died. He was still in danger if anyone found out.

"No, he couldn't have. He couldn't have said no to you." Mike says, and even though he tries to say it in an analytical way, there is a jealous tone in admitting that Paige had other admirers.

"How can you be so sure?"

Mike smiles and sadly looks at the beer in his hand, "Because I never could."

Paige closes her eyes, remembering all the times she begged Mike to close down Sylmar and he refused her. His memory is clearly different than hers, but she doesn't want to dwell on the past right now. She needs to get passed all this and find a way to truly forgive Mike.

Paige hadn't for one second believed that Mike had killed all those people at Solano's house. She knew he was deadly. She knew he was desperate to get Sid. She thought she wanted to get Sid too, but it was a low priority compared to her girls. She never understood Mike's obsession, but now, seeing the aftermath of what he did, killing his own partners, she understood.

Hearing Mike admit Lina was dead was painful, but it was the closure Paige needed. She didn't know if her and Mike would ever get back to what they had, but seeing him lying there bleeding out on the floor of the warehouse, she knew she didn't want to lose him. She knew that he hadn't caused Lina's death, that he had been inside that place because of her.

She knew he had covered it up in attempts to keep the place open and get Sid. At the time she didn't understand. She still doesn't agree with his methods, but she now understands what is driving Mike to get Sid. It's not career advancement. It's so much more.

Sid is the monster Paige feared Mike was becoming, and now she wants the bastard just as bad as Mike. She wants to put him behind bars for all the damage he's done. To the LAPD. To Graceland. To whatever it was that Mike and her might have had together.

She can't get back at Solano, or Sal, or any of the others that tortured her when she was in that place, but she can get Sid.

And she will.

They will, now that her and Mike are back on the same team.

Unfortunately the two of them don't know who else is on their team right now. Briggs is not trustworthy. Jakes and Charlie both have loyalties to Briggs. Johnny has loyalty to Briggs and Solano's daughter. Trusting Wayne was a risk and Paige isn't sure she can ask that of him again.

The two sit in silence, lost in their own thoughts until their beers are empty.

"Are you hungry?" Paige takes his empty beer from him to throw in the trash.

"Nah, I'm ok." Mike says, slouching down in the bed. He's still pale and Paige wishes she could have kept him in the hospital a little longer, but it wasn't possible.

"You should eat something." Paige says, "Here I got you a box of those cookies you stash in your drawer but never eat."

"It's a willpower thing." Mike groans, adjusting in bed. "I just like knowing I could eat them if I wanted to."

"Well right now you need to eat, and these are as good as any." Paige perches on the edge of the bed and hands him what she knows is his favorite cookie. He eyes her warily, and she taunts him gently, "Come on Princess. You'll still fit in your prom gown. You need to eat something. It would be a shame to put all that effort into faking your death just to have you starve yourself."

Mike pouts, but takes the cookie from her and weakly attempts to eat it and then accepts the glass of water she gives him.

"Thank you." He finally says weakly. Paige isn't sure if he's thanking her for the cookie, or for saving his life but either way she feels a blush rise in her cheeks.

"Mike?" She asks quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Everyone believed I killed you so quickly." Her voice is ashamed, and Mike rolls over on her uninjured side to stare at her with those non judging eyes. Just listening to her.

With a shaky breath, Paige keeps talking, unable to look at him. "And you knew. You knew no one would question it. That they would just buy it so quickly that I would want you dead. I know I was mad but… Did you ever think… Did you ever really think I might actually… That I could actually do it?"

Mike pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts on how he wants to answer this, he finally asks, "You remember last summer? When I was in the hospital and I finally told you about my investigation into Briggs?"

"Oh God, are you going to replay all the times I've acted horrible?" Paige starts to wipe her tears away with a bitter laugh.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that I told you about my investigation, the worst thing about me, and you had every right to be mad at me… but you didn't turn me in. You kept my secret." Mike assures her.

Paige skoffs and averts her eyes from Mike's. It's true she'd kept his secret, she doesn't know why, but she had been so horrible to Mike about it. She's been so cruel to him again and again and he just keeps coming back for more. Sensing she's berating herself, Mike reaches out and takes her hand gently, bringing her back to the moment.

"Look, being in Graceland has challenged every truth I've ever had faith in. About myself, about the job, about the world… but it has never made me question my faith in you." Mike promises her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** There was really no good place to split this scene, but it gets hard to read long chapters.

* * *

"Look, being in Graceland has challenged every truth I've ever had faith in. About myself, about the job, about the world… but it has never made me question my faith in you." Mike promises her.

Mike says he never lost faith, but he must have, if he knew everyone would accept that Paige could betray him like that.

"You knew they would believe it. I didn't think they would, but you knew." Paige whispers.

"That's not you." Mike assures her, "They believe it because they are thinking about themselves. Their thoughts are all clouded by their own shit. They don't know you the way I do, Paige."

There is that possessive tone in his voice again, and Paige wonders how Mike can be so arrogant to think that he knows her, when everyone else obviously sees her an entirely different way. The majority is rarely wrong. If so many think Paige is capable of betraying someone in such a way, she must have given them a reason.

Mike sees this doubt and knows he needs to convince her.

"Listen to me. Sid killed his entire team. People he'd worked with for years. His friends and colleagues just to frame me. He knew you already went behind my back to shut down Sylmar, do you really think he would think twice about you betraying me again? He's a psychopath."

"It wasn't just Sid. Everyone at the house thinks I did it." Paige appreciates Mike trying to comfort her guilt, but it's not just Sid. Everyone believed it without batting an eye.

"Paige, two weeks ago, when we set up the bank robbery, Briggs arranged to have Amber shoot me." Mike says with an exasperated sigh.

"HE WHAT?!" No one had told her this.

"It's true. Charlie told me." Mike says, stating it like it's just a fact and not an important part of the story, "He tried to have me killed over the tape from the car. He's seen all the fighting we've done recently. I mean we've done nothing but scream at each other for months. He waterboarded Lawrence, and assumed I would do it just as easily as him. Not because of me, but because that's who he is, and he sees his reflections in others."

"But you did torture Lawrence." Paige says weakly.

"To find you." Mike says firmly, "And even with all of that riding on it, I almost didn't. But he preyed on my weakness. My feelings for you."

"He didn't see that weakness in me." Paige says, feeling guilty. What did it say about her that Briggs could see in Mike feelings he couldn't see in Paige?

"No. I knew he wouldn't." Mike says, in a sad but accepting voice.

Paige wants to tell him that she did have feelings for him too, even if she didn't show them like he did, but before she can find the words he continues on.

"Briggs was the main one to convince. Once he believed that you killed me, the others will too. Jakes knows how much Lina meant to you. He knows what I put you through. He probably wishes he killed me himself."

"And Johnny? I flat out told him and Jakes what I thought you did and he didn't believe you could do it."

"No, but he believed you believed I could. If everyone else is saying you killed me, Johnny will accept it. Also as much as I wish this wasn't true… He knows about us." Mike runs a hand down his face.

"What does he think he knows? I mean, everybody has always suspected..." Paige asks.

"Yeah, he shares a wall with my room, and he told me that he heard some stuff…" Mike groans, embarrassed he has to admit this to her. He wasn't planning on telling her about this, and had threatened Johnny when he'd asked Mike for details.

"What does he…? Nevermind. I don't want to know." Paige shakes her head. "Ok, so he knows we slept together. Why would that make him think I would kill you?"

"Fun fact, Johnny has had three separate exgirlfriends try to kill him. One multiple times. Once again, I knew he'd project his issues onto you." Mike explains.

"And Charlie? Charlie should know I would never-" Paige knows that Charlie should know her better than that. Should give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Charlie knows about Briggs's tape of Juan's murder."

"She what?"

"She gave it to me. She turned over Briggs, the man she loved, to Jangles last year, and she gave me the tape to incriminate him. Charlie will assume you would turn me over to Sid in the same way."

"Charlie's intuitive. She'll figure it out-"

"Briggs made her think she was crazy last year and couldn't trust it. Any extra doubt she may have, you have to kill it Paige. Make her think the pregnancy's making her crazy, because she can't know I'm alive."

"She's taking your death so hard Mike. It's not good for the baby. If she turned Briggs over to you, maybe she could keep this secret too until we can clear your name."

"She can't know, Paige. We can't trust anyone." Mike insists. He doesn't know who he can trust these days, and he needs to keep this small until he has his strength back. Right now he's a sitting duck.

"You trusted Zelanski." Paige points out the hypocrisy.

"I trusted you to handle Zelanski." Mike says, his voice developing a cold edge, "So far he's ok, but you may still need to convince him."

Paige feels an icy chill down her spine, and she is suddenly remembering when this logic was reversed on Mike. Already feeling she knows the answer she asks, "What do you mean… convince him?"

"Look, I'm just saying, whatever you need to do… I understand. I know we had something in the past, and as much as I didn't want to let it go, I realize now it's over. I know this doesn't change that. I'm just saying I appreciate what you're doing for me. So if you need, or want to do something with Zelanski or anyone..."

"Shut up before I change my mind and go give you up to Sid again." Paige snarls at him. How dare he give her his _blessing_ to go fuck someone. What gave him the right?

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm not as over it as I thought." Mike admits, "I do appreciate this though, Paige. Everything you've done for me. I know it doesn't mean you- I mean I know I don't deserve it. I'm trying-"

"Look, I'm trying to forgive myself too. And you. For everything we've been through." Paige shouts at him, harshly interrupting his awkward apology, "But you're not the only one suffering, Mike! Just because I don't have a bullet hole in my side, doesn't mean I'm not hurting. Just because I'm not bedridden, doesn't mean I don't feel trapped. And just because Briggs can't see my feelings, doesn't mean I don't have them."

The silence fills the small apartment as they both take in the depth of Paige's outburst.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say you… I think the pain killers are just messing with my brain. I just need some rest." Mike apologizes.

"The drugs you're on are nothing you big baby. I'll grab you some of the good stuff tomorrow at work. That hole in your side will feel like a rainbow." Paige smirks at Mike's attempts to blame the pain killers. She knows what he's on, and she knows it's not enough to make him any more of a pain in the ass than usual.

"Does that mean you're leaving?" Mike asks.

"Yeah, I'm going to go. Do you need anything before I leave?" Paige turns to retreat.

"Are you going back to Graceland?" Mike asks quietly, still not over her confession.

"No. I need to give them some time to let it sink in you're really dead. Plus if I had really killed you I would get drunk and stumble in tomorrow afternoon. If I go back too early it will look suspicious. Plus I can't deal with them right now. I'll just go to a bar and-"

"Stay here." Mike interrupts her plans.

"I think I just need to be alone right now. Think about how I'm going to handle all this."

"You won't be alone in a bar, you'll be fending off creeps all night. How much more alone can you get than in a small apartment with a dead man?" Mike asks. Seeing her hesitation he again asks, "Stay here tonight."

"Mike…" Paige needs to keep her guard up. She can't keep fighting with Mike like this. She also knows they can't just fall back into old habits. Until she has a better handle on herself she needs to stay away from Mike for fear of making things worse.

"Don't make me beg." Mike says, trying to assure her this is not as big of a deal as she's making it he continues, "Come on just one night. I may need help. Remember all those jars I opened for you when you hurt your hand?"

"That was your fault!" Paige defends herself with a grin. Not only was that his fault but they'd been sleeping together at the time. It wasn't that Paige didn't want to nurse Mike back to health, it was that if she did she was worried that they might fall back into old romantic patterns. They needed to keep things professional.

"Well yeah, but admit it. I opened an impressive amount of jars." Mike gives her a playful grin. Paige finds herself smiling as well, and see, this was the kind of shit she was hoping to avoid.

"Ok. One night, just in case." Paige says, cautiously putting down her bag. "But you realize once you're healed and we've cleared your name, you owe me. You owe me big time."

"Oh, I know."

"I'm talking paying my bar tab forever."

"I will build you a tequila castle." Mike promises.

"I better never see another bathroom duty on that chore wheel ever again either."

"I will build you a castle of booze and clean it forever." Mike promises, scooting over in bed and holding up the sheet for her to join him.

Paige eyes it warily, but after a moment's hesitation kicks off her shoes and her pants and crawls into bed beside him. She figures he's seen it all before, so she might as well get comfortable. The small bed leaves them no choice but to spoon to get comfortable, but not too close due to Mike's wound.

"You ok?" Paige asks as she settles in.

"Yeah, you?" Mike murmurs from behind her, afraid of scaring her off.

"I'm ok." She says, settling in. Sheer exhaustion will soon overtake her, but before it can she mutters a sleepy, "Mike?"

"Hmmm?" She can feel the murmur vibrate from his chest against her back.

"I'm glad you're not dead."


End file.
